the battle isn’t yours to fight its yours to win.

This is less of a post and more of a declaration. There’s no more backing down.

Ever wonder how you can go from cheerful to feeling like someone just punched you in the stomach so quickly? Or go from being confident, to wondering who you even are? Or feel like you can run a marathon and you run face first into a 6ft. thick brick wall? Or go from standing on top of the world, arms open wide…to caught under the current desperate for life? …The list could go on forever but I think we all know the feelings, we’ve all been there. Or maybe even some of us have made the downside our place, we’ve gotten accustomed to taking the hits.

Well I’m done.

Cause here’s the truth, like it or not spiritual or not, those are the times when satan tries to contend with your mind in a boxing match, or maybe its more like your heart in a dark alley. Its every moment that isn’t hopeful, that isn’t built on faith, that leaves you feeling weak, broken, and just dirty. These are the moments when you have to see clearly that its his doing.

There are no maybe’s, there are no questions. This is him, and you don’t have to take it.

Would you let someone drag you from streets of gold onto a dark path, and then begin beating life out of you? Or slowly link chains around your heart, while lying there as if they had reason?

NO.

So why do we let it in daily? I think sometimes, we believe the lies he tells us about ourselves are true. Or that maybe we even deserve what we are feeling or getting from life.

Well, The lies aren’t true. You are an heir with Christ, what he has…you have. Secondly, Christ came so we didn’t get what we deserved. The question shouldn’t be do you deserve it, because Christ came so you wouldn’t have to take it.

This goes for every time you feel like you finally see who you are and are proud of you, then suddenly whispers come up against your heart telling you every reason you really aren’t who you think you are, every reason we fall short…Don’t believe the lies.

Every time you finally think you are going to find what you’ve been hoping for and doubt creeps in…Strangle the doubt.

Every time you begin to feel horrible because something was said or done to you that cut straight to your heart…don’t give those words the pleasure of hurting your heart, don’t give them authority to dictate to you what to feel about YOU. The authority is yours, don’t give it to demonic attacks.

This goes for every time you start to feel inferior, and small…..wouldn’t every enemy want whats royalty to believe they are peasant people?

This list could go on and on, the baseline is if it doesn’t breed life in you, don’t let it in.

Here’s the thing I am tired of the lies, I am tired of feeling my heart start to pound when satan cuts me with fear. I am tired of standing still as he tells me lies about who I am, and the tragedy is when…I believe him. I am tired of taking his punches, his insults, his beatings.

I’ve never pictured myself to be the one backing down, but I’ve done it so much. I’m Done.

This is a declaration against the lie that you aren’t enough. YOU ARE. That you can’t live the dream your heart longs for. YOU CAN. That the shame you feel is yours. ITS NOT. That you aren’t made for victory. YOU ARE. That you aren’t strong enough. YOU ARE. That you can’t win this battle. YOU CAN. That you aren’t worth it…….YOU ALWAYS WERE AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

Every single one of these things is already yours, Christ died to set us free so we could become who we are. I once heard, that “we are more then sinners saved by grace”, its time we start living for the more. Its time we start living past the door of Saved Sinner, and into the realm of Heir with Christ. Claiming who we always were after grace, who we are right now. The battle isn’t yours to fight its yours to win.

Don’t back down, please… don’t back down.

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My hatred for religion. But my love for my beloved.

So here’s the thing, if you didn’t know me very well chances are I would be coupled with the general view of “Christians”, which normally means people think of anything from condemnation, to legalism…..and well religion.

To be called religious is one of, if not the biggest insult I could ever receive.

Here’s the thing, religion isn’t freedom, it’s bondage. It doesn’t fill you with joy, in fact it puts you in a box, and sucks the very life out of you till you wonder when you left, because the person living in your body isn’t you anymore. Its one of the best ways to feel completely dead, while your heart is still beating.

Here’s the secret….God is not religious.

TRULY, God is not religious. Religion and God are entirely the opposite. In fact, they couldn’t be more opposite. Black and white, wrong and right, evil and good.

Religion can be defined as form without power. God is power, God comes in power, God shows power……so religion being the absence of power makes it the exact opposite of God. You can’t separate God from his power, and therefore can’t ever combine the heart of God and religion.

I have never felt more suffocated and broken, and honestly horrible then while trying to follow religious ideals…there was very little happiness in my life. But I have NEVER felt more ALIVE, more joy, more heavenly, more overflowing happiness from my heart then being in love with Jesus. Nothing satisfies me like he does. I wish I could put words to the depths of joy he has put in my heart, but I can’t. You have to feel it to know it.

God is not religion. Trust me.

I am in love with Jesus, and can tell you that I hate religion more then anything.

The Light of Man.

I sit here, ready to write, but then wonder….how do I put into words whats so big on my heart? …And have it mean the same thing to you that it means to me? I don’t know if I can, because that side of things is out of my control. But maybe if I turn my mind off and let my heart do the talking I can at least do my part.

If you were to ask most people how life is, you may get replies about how things aren’t so good, times are rough, and life is just hard. And they are right. No doubt.

But something is beautiful about the whole picture. Maybe its just something that’s very closely knit into my heart, but when I see pain and suffering its somehow beautiful. Because in pain, we know healing. In suffering, we know glory. This is what makes my heart come so alive! Its in the darkness, God brings a light so beautiful, radiant and brilliant its better then any painting ever created, any picture ever taken and any story ever written! Its the best illustration of the most amazing love story ever known in all of time!

Think about every story in history, that starts with a time of great despair, and ends victoriously. Every warrior that started as someone unknown, until in trials when the very heart of them was called out, and they couldn’t stand quiet any longer. Every battle that went down with heroism because of those who went behind enemy lines, and reigned victoriously over fear of the enemy. Every slave who was whipped and beaten and lived to know freedom from their oppressors. Every broken heart who has seen healing. Every drug addict, who has found freedom. Every quiet soul, who finally found their voice. Every girl who has been abused who finally found the power to say NO. Every child involved in prostitution, who now finally knows true love.

These are the times that the light shines so radiantly, and as always casts out all darkness. We live in a broken world, but its time we quit looking at the brokenness and mourning, while sitting quietly watching. Yes, I want to share others burdens, but I want them to know that while drying their tears I will be fighting beside them. This is light. We live caught up so much in why life is so rough, and it true, its tough. But every heart caught in the trials of today is a miracle waiting to happen.

Light and Darkness are complete opposites, only one can be present at a time. Darkness can’t withstand light. Where light goes, darkness trembles. Where light goes, darkness must flee. Why do we keep looking at the darkness instead of bringing in light? Why do we stand and cry while allowing darkness to consume our thoughts, and bring hopelessness into the hearts of people. Darkness is a chance for light to take its reign! This is why its so beautiful, this is why suffering is so glorious, why pain is so perfect! Because its in these times light can invade with a reckless love to claim back what was always God’s possession.

I want to see light invade, I want to be the one to carry it in! So why stand and watch? Why wait any longer? We see brokenness everywhere, in so many faces all day long! WHY ARE WE WAITING?

Darkness was always ours to conquer. It was always ours to invade with reckless love. It was always ours to overcome with light. You see, where darkness is, the beauty of light awaits to be carried in. Darkness by the death it carries, holds the chance for light to claim back life.

This is the light of man….let’s hear the stories of the broken as they talk about life and go invade their hearts with an unimaginable reckless love. Let’s see the hurting and carry in his healing like they never dreamed. Let’s go party with the drug addict and release God’s glory into his heart with the power every ounce of death must bow to. Let’s go to the abused and fight before them as they discover their identity in Christ and the confidence in him that was always theirs to walk in.

We are to walk among brokeness, with the realm of the heavens.

We talk about brokenness, like it has control, like we are mere subjects to the death it breathes, have we forgot our place? Have we forgot who we are? Have we forgot what we have a right to? Have we forgot that when Christ died, he died for our freedom to enable us to live in our heavenly identity?

He died so we could be, among other things…..the light of man.

I’m falling in love.

It’s been over a year since my last post. Needless to say life changes…and there’s alot to say. But my life is not a documentary, and I don’t want to make a punch list of what this year has included, what I’ve learned and how I’ve changed. My life was meant to be way more, my life and your’s was meant to be more then I think words can describe…How do I say this? We serve the God of the universe, the creator of everything, and the hand that writes history as well as eternity. AND…He loves us. He loves me. He loves you. More then words, more then life.His love is stronger then death, greater then life, and goes on eternally.Our lives were meant to be more then pages written in history, more then some story, more then a life well planned with many successes….

Our life was meant to be a love song.

A love song written by our creator, and sung out by where he writes our footprints. Because this isn’t just being a good christian, this isn’t just some chance to live a good life, this is our ONLY chance to live out our love for God when we are challenged, this is our chance to get to love him…

Bear with me on this…..Yes, I do have eternity. But really am I supposed to wait till then?

When I started to realize that life is not about what we do to lives good lives, but rather how much God loves me that he would grant me life…something changed. As a christian, I am meant to live a godly life, but somehow I got lost in trying to live that life so much that life became a rule book. I found myself walking on glass, and trying so hard to step carefully that it doesn’t crack….Yeah, right! NICE TRY! It dawned on me at one point, how do I convince those who are lost to come join me, when I felt so bound and ashamed? Who would ever want to join me in that! But God used it to show me something that gets me smiling just thinking about it…

In the chains of religion, and legalism I wrapped around myself, he showed me his love frees me. I grew up knowing God loves me, but the depth he has regrown in my heart because of those chains is so great.

I was locked within myself, and the walls were closing in…I was breaking. And then he came and whispered to me that it was never about what I was, it was always about who he was in me. I was a sinner, but he gave me his life that I could LIVE, and now calls me a saint, calls me his daughter.  He gave me his life, so I could LIVE, not try to live the right way and fail…not try to follow rules I’ll never be enough for….but so I could LIVE OUT HIM, so I could be free in him.

His love whispered to me that I am his daughter, I will always be cherished to him, and he cares more then I could know. When I start to feel this I come alive…I begin falling in love with him. Together we become one. I am his bride, and he is my beloved. Life is no longer about trying to fit some “Christian” mold, but letting his love capture me. Romance me. Live in me. Then I can walk in life out of love for him.

He came a rescued me more valiantly then a knight and more mighty then a warrior. Gave his life in the most grusome death in history for me, to break chains….so that I could be free, and maybe love him back. Not even death could keep him from me…He now holds out his hand asking me if I’ll take it. We walk together through life this way, his hand in mine. And when battles come he will always be between me and my enemy. He stands in front of me to protect me, behind to catch me, and beside me to guide me. He sees every part of me..even the sides no one knows, and yet loves me more then anyone ever could. And when I start to put up that wall of feeling not good enough, He reminds me..

All the shame you have felt…I died to free you from. I Love You. Every battle you have fought for me, I stood and fought for you, I was right in front of you. I Love You. Every time you felt alone, it was my arms that were around you. I Love You. Every tear you have ever cried, I cried with you. I Love You. You are my beautiful bride, I gave my life so I could be beside you….FOREVER. So I could never loose you. I want to hold your hand and walk with you, I want to be joy within you, I want to be what makes you smile out of nowhere, I want to dance with you, fight for you…I WANT you. You are my beloved, my love.

This is my faith, its not a rule book, its a love song. A love song between Me and My Beloved. I am falling in love, and no one really can get it, you can’t give it words….you have to feel it.

AND THIS LOVE…..

THERE’S NOTHING LIKE IT.

Impact. Leadership. Fulfillment.

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