Tag Archives: Character

Step 10: YOU define your life.

You. And only YOU….You define your life. It’s really that simple.

We live in a world where everyone is so use to placing blame elsewhere other then taking accountability and owning their actions. However, like most things in life regardless what seems to be occurring there is always the beautiful, wonderful, and sometimes bitter truth. The truth is this: Your entire life rests on you.

We can try to say its because of where we came from. We can try to say we had a rougher start. We can try to say that things would be different if life were fair. But that’s not the case.

You can’t change where you came from.

You can’t change the start you had.

You can’t make life fair.

No matter how much you wish or dream or complain, nothing is going to change that these are things in life you absolutely can NEVER change. So you are left with two choices that will define your whole life.

You can choose to change what you can or you can choose to wallow in what you can never change. 

Did you really read that? Because to be honest I’m tired of victims. The world needs more heroes.

You have your entire life to change, and mold and become something EPIC. But one thing will make or break it. One thing will change your entire future. One thing will dictate you for the rest of forever.

This one thing…….is your decision on how you define your life.

You decide.

Victory or defeat? You decide. Success or failure? You decide. Love or fear? You decide. 

I wish there were less victims in the world, so I’ve decided to start talking about impact and wholeness and heroes…… It was that simple. I’m tired of hearing people play the powerless role. But I also realize that a lot of people haven’t heard differently, they may not know how to NOT be a victim. That’s why I decided to start the Superhero Chronicles, in hopes that maybe the world would start to see more hearts that desire to level up and impact the world around them. Maybe together we could change the status quo, and stop settling for mediocre.

Whether or not the whole world ever hears what I say, or whether or not there is a massive movement of impact and heroes rising only time will tell, but I can promise you this, lives are contagious. So therefore, I intend to live a life of heroic proportions in hopes that others catch a glimpse that life can be huge. Some people may think that sounds conceited, but I really don’t care. I think in terms of massivity (Yes, that is a made up word that says “all the deep things, real things, heart things and hero things”). I believe in heroes. I believe in big people. I believe in conquerors and life changers. I believe in people who defy odds. I believe that there are hearts bigger then most people can handle.

We need to become the generation that can handle bigger people, because there are huge hearts that are tired of hiding.

So how will you define your life? The world is waiting.

 

 

The Superhero Chronicles: 10 Steps to living with IMPACT:

 

STEP 1: YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO WEAR YOUR CAPE.

STEP 2: WHO’S BEHIND THE MASK?

STEP 3: THE WHOLENESS OF THE GIVER.

STEP 4: HEROES DON’T “HALF-ASS” IT.

STEP 5: LEGACY OFFERS NO SECOND CHANCES.

STEP 6: VICTORY IS A DECISION LONG BEFORE IT’S A REALITY.

STEP 7: FACING THE FEAR OF YOU.

STEP 8: WAITING ON EPIC.

STEP 9: THRIVING IN THE BATTLES.

STEP 10: YOU DEFINE YOUR LIFE.

 

If you haven’t been following this series, check out all ten blog posts in the Superhero Chronicles! Comment, share or message with any thoughts!

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Step 9: Thriving in the Battles

     I have tried multiple poetic ways to start this post, they have all failed. Let’s just be blunt and real about it:
     When you make the decision to live a huge life, value the impact you leave, and constantly strive to level up, life will often be difficult.
     This is not because you’ve done anything wrong. Actually it’s the opposite, you’re kinda battling the whole status quo for all of time in the history of EVER. Most people settle, we’ve discussed this so I won’t kill it again here with the whole “most people want an easy button, glad you chose the Game of Thrones” route to life. So let’s just say you chose the right path young Padawan.
Okay so in all seriousness.
     Here’s how I see it. I chose the hardest route possible when I decided that my life needed to be lived for something more. That everything we’ve talked about this far in these posts had to occur. That BIG was possible. That IMPACT was possible. That living a HUGE life was possible. This decision to live for something bigger then me was kinda my personal turning point. From here on out, I would never end up choosing the easy way. Even if I wanted to, at this point…my heart simply wouldn’t let me.
     As life goes on I constantly realize that the grass is often not greener on the other side, and no that’s not because I failed to water it. When you choose to live a life bigger then you, you are constantly pushing yourself to higher levels. This creates a continual battle. Occasionally there are moments of reprieve where you stand at the top of the mountain you are conquering and take in the view but then you notice another mountain, a bigger, greater, more thrilling mountain…
And so the story goes and off to another mountain you go conquer.
     And as long as you “stop to smell the roses” and take in the moments, this is a win. You’re conquering, you’re growing, you’re impacting.
     However, there will come a point where you exhaust yourself, where the battle is tiring, and quitting has never looked clearer. I’m still in the process of finding the best way to make it through these moments, but I’ve semi-nailed it down to a few key points.
      1. Constantly remind yourself of what’s at the top. Is it a promise your waiting on? Is it an achievement your fighting for that will change your life? Is it other people who will finally get to share in your victory? Whatever it is. Hold to what is at the top of your mountain. It’s important to not wait until you are totally exhausted to do this, trust me. It’s a lot harder to remember the simple reason that made you start to climb this mountain you may be resenting. 
     
      2. Avoid Naysayers. People love to start talking when you start complaining. As soon as you hit that “What have I done? This is stupid why should I care moment?” somehow those who didn’t support your mountain trek has ALL the reasons why you should have stayed home, on your couch….being comfortable. In these moments be VERY careful who you listen to. Remember most people want easy. And let’s be honest, if there’s an easy way normally it would make logical sense to take it. Maybe the easy way would have cost you character, maybe the easy way would have left less impact, maybe the easy way would have been through a lush trail down a beautiful hillside, not up this massive mountain with rocks, debris and a steep incline. Sure, there was easy. But you didn’t choose it for a reason. Don’t let those who don’t have your heart, didn’t make it’s decision, and aren’t wanting a massive life to cause you to question your mountain. You made the decision climb because the victory would be worth the building of character to get to the top. 
     
      3. Hang out with other climbers, group with people who want to level up. Here’s my number one point of advice (ironically placed in no. 3) If you are around people who aren’t going where you want to go. Go where you want to go without them. I have found that you normally need to start this journey alone before you find others who want to tag along or climb beside you. Alone is sometimes good, find you first, solidify what you want, and find a mountain to conquer. Trust me, there are other climbers out there…. and you will find them.

 

     4. Be careful who you let in to the close parts of your heart. I’ll let you in on a little secret. The only people I let into my inner circle are people who want more out of life. If you are interested in settling, that’s totally cool, I love you, I care about you….all that stuff and you can be my friend without a problem. But my heart, the depths of me, to know that is reserved for those who are also going to remind me why I’m fighting. Bear in mind there is a whole lotta me to know outside the depths of my heart so there’s lots for those who aren’t interested in leveling up, but the heart zone is by invitation only. I need to know that when my life gets whacky and I need someone to remind me of the whys behind my choice that those in my inner circle will step up.

     5. Don’t quit. This one is simple. Decide now. Just don’t quit. Whatever the battle,  whatever the mountain, whatever the terrain. There is some reason you decided to embark on this challenge. Don’t quit. You will make it. You will win. And when you do it will be epic.

     Sometimes I think we try to look for this perfect life, where we do all the things that we love, we thrive and we yet are never uncomfortable. That’s not life. And it’s not a life I want. I love to fight because I love to win. I love who I become. I love the feeling of reaching a climax. I love growing. I love watching others grow. I love what happens when we are uncomfortable and we embrace it. There is so much to be had in life if we can make it through the seasons that require us to armor up and battle on.
     There is a whole world waiting for impact, wanting growth, and desiring to level up. How will we ever reach them if we quit half-way up our own mountains?
     Heroes aren’t born, they are built. Let your days of struggle motivate you, let it challenge you, let it push you to push harder then ever before. Remember the victory happened at your decision to live heroically, now you just need to walk it out. Battles are an opportunity for victory.
Step 9: Pay attention to how you prepare for those rough days, and don’t quit when they hit. 
If you would like to read the prior Superhero Chronicles post you can find it here!

Step 8: Waiting on Epic.

At 4 years old I had the strap on fairy wings, I had the mask, I had the magic glitter dust….whelp that’s it, bring on the battle! I had the power, obviously, and well I I knew I was ready to conquer the whole world……. so why wait? I had it together, I was good to go. Game on bad guys, bring it! I will decimate you with my glitter powers.

That’s what I saw. My EPIC moment. And that’s all I saw. At 4 years old I had no idea what it would cost.

 

I didn’t realize that the moment I would finally take flight would take years of preparation. Or that in order to use my glitter dust I would need to have the character to use it appropriately. I didn’t know that my wings wouldn’t be mine until I could handle the weight of seeing things from above.

There’s so much I didn’t know about my epic moment. But I quickly learned, nothing about it would be easy. Nothing about impact, character, legacy, depth or selflessness is easy. And you know what makes it harder? Those who don’t care as much will almost always finish first. They will always get the first applause. And in the world’s view sometimes they are the ultimate achievers.

So how do you push through? How do you keep this impact thing up? How do you continue to fight when everyone else settles? How do you get up, gear up and battle up when you are simultaneously also fighting the status quo?

The simple answer is (as Nike knows) you just do it. You keep going. You don’t quit.

However, you also hold fast to the purpose behind your battle. Those who live heroically eventually get their moment. And let’s just be clear no this is not the point of impact. No this is not the ultimate goal of impact. But sometimes the battles get hard and you have to be able to remind yourself that what you are doing on the daily…MATTERS.

There will come a point where you will ask yourself, “Why am I trying so hard when I don’t see the victory?”

These are the times I like to entitle……WAITING ON EPIC.

Because we all want that moment. The moment where we see the impact we made. It’s rewarding, it’s encouraging! And the waiting sucks! There’s no nice way to put it, it’s hard, its tough and it SUCKS. However, those times of WAITING ON EPIC become the most formative times of life.

WAITING ON EPIC. Waiting on epic moments. Waiting on epic impact. Waiting on epic fulfillment. Waiting on epic victories. Waiting on epic promises. WAITING ON EPIC.

It is hard, it’s exhausting and most people, quit.

I know. I live here. Welcome to my whole life. I kid you not, I will blog about it eventually but let’s just say that this isn’t book theory this is “Bre Life Theory”. Waiting on epic is hard as heck.

I could quit. I could choose easy. You could quit. You could choose easy. We know we would get there faster, because others do it. We could cheat. We could short cut. We could compromise. We know it would work because others do it. We know that this is the obviously most difficult route. We know we could end the waiting. We know we could do a million other things to reach our goal. But I think we also know at the end it would just be a goal, it wouldn’t be epic. And that’s worse then any waiting.

Epic is built in the moments no one else sees.

…..Epic is what makes this whole thing so big. It’s the fact that it costs all of you. That you can’t go small. That you have to be big. It’s the limits you thought you had that you defy. It’s the depth you find inside of you. It’s what makes the waiting matter. Epic.

Waiting on Epic? This is where YOU are BUILT.

It’s not the decision to live a life of impact that builds you it’s the moments between the victories that build you. Wait did you catch that?

You are built waiting on EPIC. When you see nothing about your moment of epic victory, YOU ARE BEING BUILT. 

Without the building of you, the end is just a goal. It’s just a win. It’s just a moment. But when you see you being built between the victories. That’s where the epic happens. That’s what turns the win into an EPIC win, the moment into an EPIC moment and reaching your goal into an EPIC achievement.

Sometimes I spend so much time focusing on making this massive impact that I forget the now. I forget that the waiting on epic is what defines everything else.

Waiting on Epic. This is where I am built. The times no one sees, that’s where I become me. The battles I fight daily in secret, that’s where I become me. The moments where character wins and no one knows, that’s where I become me.

Waiting on Epic. For so long I thought that it was about this big moment that I was ready for and somehow the forces of time just had to choose me. That I was ready and I just needed someone to notice. That my climax was where the biggest part of my story would occur. This great moment, this great achievement, this great win, THAT would be my epic moment.

I was wrong. It was never a moment that was being built. It was me. It wasn’t the moment that I was waiting on. It was who I could become in the process. It wasn’t the epic I was waiting on.

 

It was me I was waiting on. 

 

Because without the me I would become, I was too small for my EPIC moment.

 

 

 

STEP 8: What is the EPIC moment you are waiting on? Now think of how you are using the waiting to become EPIC. 

 

If you missed Step 7 check it out!

 

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Step 6: Victory is a decision long before it’s a reality.

“…Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say ‘No, you move’. “

-Captain America

Self efficacy. Most of us have never heard of it before. It’s basically the understanding that whether or not you succeed in a given task is determined by your belief of whether or not you will.  Wait…..

I’ll say it again.

Whether or not you succeed in a given task is largely determined by whether or not you believe you will. 

It get’s me every time. So many people take on life deciding what will happen to them AFTER it occurs. These people are normally characterized by words like “it is what it is” or “I can’t change that” or “that’s life”.  THEY never actually decided anything, they LET life happen to them. There is a vast difference between those who own their lives and those who are owned by their life.

I can promise you, I will never be the latter. There are victims and there are heroes. And if you refuse to decide which of these will define you, life will decide for you.

Victims almost always lose. Heroes almost always win.

Nope, not always right away. Nope, not always at first. Nope, not always in the ways everyone imagines. But I can tell you that in the end, Heroes win. If by character and heart alone. Heroes win.

So what does this have to do with how to live a life of massive impact? Everything.

Impact is difficult. You not only have to care about others, you have to be willing to give it all of you. You not only have to act selflessly, but you need to have the character to be real in doing so. You not only have to want more you have to decide no matter how many people around settle for less, you won’t.

To be a person of impact means making every day an opportunity to level up. If everyday is an opportunity for more, then everyday is also a victory of attaining more. However if all you see are the challenges, you will fail.

You MUST see the victory as greater then the obstacle before you ever begin to conquer.

Without the DECISION to end the day in victory the world will break you. BIG impact isn’t common. MASSIVE impact doesn’t happen by chance. GREAT impact isn’t a random act of nature.

Impact begins and ends with the decision to live in constant victory. So at that moment when you face the daily obstacles or the life changing challenges you can look them in the eye and say “No you move”.

You’ve decided you’re strong enough.

You’ve decided you’re great enough.

You’ve decided you’re bold enough.

Step 6: Now look at the challenges, look at the daily battles, look at the war in front of you and decide. “No. YOU move.”

 

You can find the prior Superhero Chronicles post here.

 

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Step 4: Heroes don’t “half-ass” it.

“It’s not who we are underneath, it’s what we do that defines us.” -Batman

Alright so let this post come with fair warning that it’s not cozy, coated in candy or seasoned with a massive amount of the “We’re all winners” mentality. So get ready because this post is pretty dang true to me and very close to my heart…

I’d love to think people have good intentions….I’d love to believe that every co-worker I work with truly wants to support each other, I’d love to believe that people want to be more encouraging and less jerk-ish, I would love to believe that we all want to make the world a better place just by being in it….but intentions don’t matter until they are supported by actions.

When it comes to impact, it really makes no difference what we intend to do. There are so many people who intend to change the world, do something big, create something to help thousands, build a massive empire to solve world hunger…..You name it and someone has dreamed it.

But I can promise you not everyone has done it.

Dreaming is one thing, and its very powerful. But dreams and thoughts that never turn into action are just really good feelings. At some point you have to draw the line between what someone intended to do or thought about doing and what they actually accomplished. This sounds cold, I know it does. And I really did try to think of a better way to say it but I just can’t, because the truth is that this is too important to candy coat.

We live in a world that’s taught us that we can become whatever we desire, that all we need is to dream it. They are wrong. If we truly want to make an impact we need to become the doers. We can read a million books on how to change the world but none of them will matter until we decide it’s worth it enough to make it an action. I could write a million posts on impact but without action they are just some super motivational words. You could watch a million talks on leadership but if you don’t want to change, if you don’t want to become the person it takes…..why bother?

Dream it, but then DO IT.

Think it, but then DO IT.

Plan it, but then DO IT.

And again, yeah I get it. This all sounds extremely cold. I mean after all shouldn’t the “little bit” matter? What if everybody just did a little something extra and called it good, wouldn’t that be better then nothing? Sure. It’ll be better then nothing, but comparing progress to its complete absence will always make it look good.

The truth is, if you want to make an impact to touch a few lives, make a little difference, you don’t need a book for that, heck you don’t need a blog post for that, you just need half a heart. And it’ll work, you will do some good, and it will matter. However for me half a heart has never been my dream.

I don’t want to see a generation of people who kinda know how to impact. I don’t want to build friendships that kinda understand support. I don’t want pour into close relationships with people that kinda want to change the world. I don’t want a marriage that kinda understands love.

“Kinda” ….will never be my game. I don’t play in the realm of kinda. I’m in or I’m out. We have enough people in the world who will half-ass their way to the top, half-ass their way to impact, and half-ass away their whole life!

People can half-ass life, Heroes don’t it’s that simple.

Step 4: Decide. How much are you willing to build a life on your ACTIONS not your intentions? Remember intentions don’t change the world. 

Congratulations! If you made it here you either hate me or are wondering if there was a Step 3….yes there was. You can find it here.

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