I use to believe that fear was this horrible thing that would take away anything powerful that it could, and steal things it had no right to. I hated fear so much that I would do whatever I was afraid of simply because I resented the thought that anything outside of my control would be able to exercise power in my life. I would see fear and the only thought I had was to conquer. But what do you do when you start to realize that your greatest fear isn’t anything external?
What do you do when your greatest fear isn’t what the world holds, but what’s inside of you?
You can’t run from you. You can’t fight you. You can’t hide from you and you can’t lie to you. You can’t tell yourself to get smaller, because you already have started to see the massive size of your heart. You can’t convince yourself that you’re not strong enough because the drive inside you to win is far too strong. You can’t tell yourself it’s a figment of imagination because your feelings know better. You can’t turn it off. You can’t shut it down. You can’t sleep it off. You can’t conquer enough externally to satisfy the wonder of where your limitless heart will take you. You can do everything you put your mind to but somewhere along the lines you just keep getting bigger and stronger.
I was very clear on how to conquer all the fears before me. And then I met me.
You see, somewhere along the lines I started this journey to find myself and as I found me I realized what I was capable of, who I could become and the impact I could leave on this world. The more I found of me the more I realized all I wanted was more. I became my own high. I started to find my drive to live a life that mattered. I realized that life is so much bigger then my world. I started to find myself wondering what I could become and what I could accomplish. I was both terrified and thrilled not that I COULD become all I imagined but more so that I WOULD become all I imagined. It wasn’t the possibility of what I could accomplish but rather that I would actually CHOOSE to become that person capable of a huge life.
So what do I do with this newfound fear, when all I’ve done was paint a life that didn’t allow for fear? Let it drive me.
The day I realized that who I was becoming was so powerful that I was starting to fear my own capacity was the day I realized I would never go back. I knew if I was slightly concerned that I might just be big enough for the life I imagined then maybe, just maybe I would live that life. And that, THAT motivated me more then anything ever before.
Its a strangely terrifying thing to say that I’ve already decided regardless what life brings I will choose to outgrow every trial and circumstance. I will choose to allow struggles to prepare me for what’s next. I will choose to come out of pain stronger, come out of overwhelming moments with a greater capacity, and out of every experience learning something. It’s terrifying because I know what I promise myself, I will do. There’s no possible way I won’t succeed. Will there be a battle I may fail? Sure. But I am certain I will always win the war. I am certain that I will defy every limit put on my heart and it’s capacity to love and conquer in this adventure we call life.
People often times say that the world is limitless but the truth is the world is very limited, scientifically speaking there are definite limits. Ask Einstein. What we don’t understand so often is that it’s not the world that’s limitless it’s the hearts of a rare breed of people who choose to not live confined. These people change lives, they write history and they live huge. They impact hearts, they thrive in all circumstances, and they inspire many others simply because they have become so conditioned to not know any other way. They have trained their hearts to feel that nothing is out of reach. These people are powerful.
These people have realized the only limit they fight is yesterday’s version of who they were. And they know yesterday’s version won’t be big enough for today. #levelup
The biggest tragedy of my life would be to short myself the ability to grow and overcome every trial, struggle, pain, or fear. Because as I overcome the things I thought defined me, I start to realize that my only limit will only ever be me. You can be sure if I won’t let anyone else limit me I sure won’t limit myself! I’ve found the more I defy my own limit the more powerful I become. This feeling of power, as you feel your heart grow is continually one of the most beautiful, satisfying things I’ve ever experienced.
Everyday we are given two choices to look at the size of our struggles or to look at the size of our heart. When we focus on growing our hearts, circumstances shrink, pain starts to heal and we only get bigger.
Limitless. It’s a decision that becomes you.