Step 4: Heroes don’t “half-ass” it.

“It’s not who we are underneath, it’s what we do that defines us.” -Batman

Alright so let this post come with fair warning that it’s not cozy, coated in candy or seasoned with a massive amount of the “We’re all winners” mentality. So get ready because this post is pretty dang true to me and very close to my heart…

I’d love to think people have good intentions….I’d love to believe that every co-worker I work with truly wants to support each other, I’d love to believe that people want to be more encouraging and less jerk-ish, I would love to believe that we all want to make the world a better place just by being in it….but intentions don’t matter until they are supported by actions.

When it comes to impact, it really makes no difference what we intend to do. There are so many people who intend to change the world, do something big, create something to help thousands, build a massive empire to solve world hunger…..You name it and someone has dreamed it.

But I can promise you not everyone has done it.

Dreaming is one thing, and its very powerful. But dreams and thoughts that never turn into action are just really good feelings. At some point you have to draw the line between what someone intended to do or thought about doing and what they actually accomplished. This sounds cold, I know it does. And I really did try to think of a better way to say it but I just can’t, because the truth is that this is too important to candy coat.

We live in a world that’s taught us that we can become whatever we desire, that all we need is to dream it. They are wrong. If we truly want to make an impact we need to become the doers. We can read a million books on how to change the world but none of them will matter until we decide it’s worth it enough to make it an action. I could write a million posts on impact but without action they are just some super motivational words. You could watch a million talks on leadership but if you don’t want to change, if you don’t want to become the person it takes…..why bother?

Dream it, but then DO IT.

Think it, but then DO IT.

Plan it, but then DO IT.

And again, yeah I get it. This all sounds extremely cold. I mean after all shouldn’t the “little bit” matter? What if everybody just did a little something extra and called it good, wouldn’t that be better then nothing? Sure. It’ll be better then nothing, but comparing progress to its complete absence will always make it look good.

The truth is, if you want to make an impact to touch a few lives, make a little difference, you don’t need a book for that, heck you don’t need a blog post for that, you just need half a heart. And it’ll work, you will do some good, and it will matter. However for me half a heart has never been my dream.

I don’t want to see a generation of people who kinda know how to impact. I don’t want to build friendships that kinda understand support. I don’t want pour into close relationships with people that kinda want to change the world. I don’t want a marriage that kinda understands love.

“Kinda” ….will never be my game. I don’t play in the realm of kinda. I’m in or I’m out. We have enough people in the world who will half-ass their way to the top, half-ass their way to impact, and half-ass away their whole life!

People can half-ass life, Heroes don’t it’s that simple.

Step 4: Decide. How much are you willing to build a life on your ACTIONS not your intentions? Remember intentions don’t change the world. 

Congratulations! If you made it here you either hate me or are wondering if there was a Step 3….yes there was. You can find it here.

Tweet. Share. Message me if you want to chat more!

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Step 3: The wholeness of the giver.

“I know enough to help those who cannot help themselves.” -Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman had the whole if “serving is below you then leading is above you” cliche down pat. She got it. She understood. She knew ultimately all that mattered wasn’t what she took away but what she brought to the table. So many times we look at what we are trying to gain, what our need is and we work with that as our focus….us.  What do I need to get done today? What is my goal? What do I need to accomplish for my plan? Not only is this contrary to the goal of living an impactful life, we soon find out that we have endless needs and therefore we can never be truly satisfied.

Bear in mind, I’m not saying goals are bad or you should just frolic about filling every need, everywhere, at every corner. There is a balance. More on this to come in future posts but for now just recognize what I’m saying is that there has to be a focus external of you to feel truly fulfilled. I’ve found in my own life that as long as I focus on what I will end up “taking away” from a given relationship, friendship, network, community….(and so on) I almost always come up short. More often then not I feel most fulfilled when I realize what I can BRING to the table and act from that.

What can I do to help? What skills do I have that would benefit others? What can I do to help solve the problem? How can I positively impact their life? What can I GIVE?

Suddenly, my entire perspective shifts from what I need to what I already have. There’s some psychological reason this happens I’m sure but granted I’m not a psychology major I can just say that you feel a lot more WHOLE.

 

And from this WHOLENESS so much becomes possible. Its strange to say but you actually learn about who you are because you start to realize that you have a lot to offer. After all, to give something you must first have it, right? And when giving becomes your focus there’s less time to focus on what you lack or need. Perspective is everything. In changing your mindset from one of “I need ________” to “I have _________”, you remind yourself continually that you HAVE not that you NEED. And in turn, you quite literally start to realize you are pretty whole on your own because you’ve taught yourself that there’s a lot inside you, rather than there’s a lot to fill.

If I truly want to impact the lives of those around me, it’s imperative that I come at it with a perspective of giving from wholeness. Otherwise, I will always come up short, unfulfilled and frustrated. After all impacting others isn’t about my needs, its about how I can positively leave a mark on someone else’s life. It’s not about what I gain it’s about what I give. This requires me to be pretty dang selfless, and let’s be honest that’s not easy nor do I always win that battle. To even start to impact others I must first realize that I have something to offer, and when I give it that there’s more where it came from. What I have to give becomes my power. Take it from Wonder Woman, even if you have no idea where to start “know enough to give to those who cannot give to themselves”. Trust me, lasting impact is impossible without the ability to continually be the giver.

Alright now to put all this into action…..

STEP 3: Make another list separate from the list you made for Step 1 & 2. In this new list write down all the ways you can impact with traits and talents you already possess. Ask yourself, “what do I have to give?”.

Feel free to check out the other posts from this series on building a life of impact, The Superhero Chronicles Step 1, and Step 2! More to come!

 

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Step 2: Who’s behind the mask?

The great writer Nathaniel Hawthorne once wrote….

“No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.”

We all wear masks, we all have different faces we put on…..we all have parts of us we hide. However there comes a point where under the mask we have to find a common ground, that common ground is our character.

In the prior post, Superhero Chronicles: Step 1, we discussed who we believed ourselves to be. Now it’s time to take a look at this list and ask ourselves, is that who we WANT to be.

Masks are powerful, because masks enable us to hide. But the truest impact is made by people who don’t choose to hide behind a heroic ideal but rather become the ideal.

The truest impact is made by people who don’t choose to hide behind a heroic ideal but rather become the ideal.

Did you catch that? I’ll say it again a little differently. Making an impact on the world isn’t about choosing a powerful career, or partnering with an influential organization, it’s about becoming a person capable of massive impact. It’s about becoming a person of character worthy to wear the mask of a hero and make the type of lasting impact they would.

We often think that if we find the right opportunity then we will be able to achieve our goals. If we find the right job, if we find the right people, if we find the right network…..strangely enough that never works long term. It would be like if our military men went to war but had zero tactical training prior to combat. Or if policemen went out on the streets to keep the peace but had no idea how to resolve conflict. Or if a doctor went to operate on a patient but had no idea how the body functioned and what did what and just started to cut things open!

These ideas sound insane. No one would do that! And if they tried we would all look at them as if they had lost their mind!

Yet, this is often times exactly how we choose to try to make a difference. We get an idea of what we want to accomplish, we make ourselves look good on paper (get a degree, find the right connections) and we look for our next big break.

We search for the opportunity for impact before becoming the type of person who can handle it.

And I’m not going to say that the motivation behind this is inherently bad, I’m just saying it’s not an expression of someone who is 100% worthy of the mask of a hero.

Personally, I’d rather become the person who gives character to the mask rather than allow the mask to make up for my lack of character. Wearing a mask may enable me to win a battle but my character will determine if I win the war. My character is what makes me sustainable. My character is what withstands storms and overcomes obstacles. My character is what determines if I am strong enough when no one else was. My character determines if the impact I make will last. And is that not the ultimate goal?

You see, the mask doesn’t make my character….My character makes the mask. And if I want lasting impact, if I want to build something huge that matters, then it starts with who’s behind the mask. If I’m not who the mask portrays……then I’m going to eventually fail to live up to the ideal of who I’ve said I was. And let’s be frank, I’m going to avoid failure at all costs.

Step 2: Take a look at the list you wrote from the prior post and cross out any words that you don’t want to be a representation of your character. 

Feel free to post your thoughts below or send me a tweet to chat more.

 

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The Superhero Chronicles: Think Big

      “Dreamers think about a better future, Visionaries ask how they will create one”. -Andy Stanley

So many of us want to leave an impact, make a difference and truly change the world around us, but do we know what that looks like? Do we know what it takes to be the difference we want to see in the world? Do we want to become the type of person big enough to make a difference?  Because if we are going to be honest, the world is full of dreamers but dreamers aren’t the ones who change the future. Its the visionaries.

The future is written by those who believe they will be the ones to create it. The ones who are constantly asking how it will be THEM who make the difference they want to see. The ones who are constantly pushing themselves to be better then they were yesterday. The ones who realize that its not about what they say or think, life is about what they DO that makes them who they are.

Let’s be real, we all want to change the world, but we all won’t. Really, did you catch that.

We all won’t change the world.

Some of us may even make it worse. We all have the same opportunity to make a difference but not all of us will. You see only the superheroes of our generation will leave a massive positive impact. Its that simple. The ones who change the world will be those who are disciplined enough to become a person big enough to do so.

To change the world for the better, isn’t easy. The superheroes have it right. It takes motivation, drive, disciple, character, integrity and a desire to impact the lives around you. And the last piece of the puzzle, you truly have to believe that you were called to make a difference. We will talk more about this last piece later but you’ll find that every superhero felt fulfilled by acting out in their ability.

This is the first of many posts on how to become a person who’s fulfilled, a person of impact, a person of vision….a person capable of changing the world.

These are the Superhero Chronicles.

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To the dreamers. To the heroes. To those who say, YES.

Bold enough to be first. Brave enough to go where no one had gone before. Strong enough to press on when everyone else runs in retreat. 

…That says hero to me, that inspires me. That is the route of chasing my dreams into reality. But what would happen if I did it, what if I lived my life with heroic proportions? What if I dared to go where I know life is desperate to be awakened?  What if I chased him and what I know to be so real with a desperate love nothing could deterrer? What if I truly knew what I was capable of, and then had the courage to act on it?

“What if’s” only matter if they push you to become brave enough to make them reality, otherwise they will always make you feel alive, but you’ll never really live there. It’ll be a beautiful dream, but are you willing to risk, to take a jump, and make it real?

This is where my heart lives. When I push the world I see away, I see this….

I see the world of my heart, I see what I know to be true, I see what’s more real, and more alive, and I love it.  Honestly, part of me just loves the dream of it, I’m afraid that it won’t be what I imagine. But to fear inadequacy like that, is to put faith in the inferior realm, and therefore to defy what I know to be real.

I have two choices, I can live afraid and keep it a dream, or…

I can live in faith and make it reality.

You see, My God is capable of insanely ridiculously, huge things that defy every bit of reason, so to live in a dream would be to not realize who I am in love with and how desperately he loves me.

It starts in the heart, but it moves with the power of freewill.  I must decide this is what I want, passion without willpower to move is simply an excited heart chained to the earth.  It’s a choice that’s mine to make, he gave me the decision, and the ability to make it.  He gave me freewill so I could co-labor with him, so I could dream with him, so I could recklessly love him.  He cares what I think!

It’s all pretty insanely cool to me. He gave me a chance to stand at the brink of living in all I dream, and in essence asked me, Do you want this?

God knows all. He knows what I want. Of course I want it. But he asks, so I could have to chance to see me. To see who he sees. To see what he made me capable of. Because my answer of yes, doesn’t just mean, Okay God, you can give it to me. It means, Okay God I finally see the hero you made in me, I finally see that you made me strong enough to move. I finally see that I was made to be in love with you, and that its safe to dream in you. My yes, is an expression of identity, an act of complete trust, and a move made with desperate love.

God could drop dreams into our lap, but then we would miss the beautiful picture of becoming who we are in him while finding them.  We find the identity of him he wrote in us, we become the desperate lovers of the bridegroom, heroes called to rise and we realize we are radically beautiful.

He gives us freewill to chase the dreams he inspires because he knows what we really achieve when we finally make the choice to say……..

YES.